A New Beginning, an Old Face, and a lot of Lilt

You know when you don't sleep, so you can't quite function properly that day? And then if that has a knock-on effect on the next night's sleep, the next day is affected too, and so on, in a string of days where you're not quite 100% and can't sleep either? And then after a few days of this you get a decent sleep, you're refreshed and ready, and you feel SO much better despite not having felt that bad over the sleepless days, you are at your best, and it feels amazing?

366 Days of Friendly Bacteria; My First Year in Review

My blog is a year old! HOORAY! One year ago I posted the very first post; http://friendlybacteriablog.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/ready-steady-blog.html

(Although the first post was posted on the 27th not the 28th, so I've made a mistake somewhere... or the leap year thing messes with my timetable or blogspot. Oh well!)

It's been a pretty huge year for me, not just because I occasionally ramble about bacteria on here, but in life generally. So here's my year in review; Year 1 of Friendly Bacteria!

EXCITING NEWS! Well, it's not that exciting, don't get your hopes up, that's a bit clickbaity, sorry

Exciting news, you can now  Follow my blog with Bloglovin, if you're into that sort of thing :)

I only just really found out about it, if you have any suggestions of blogs to follow on there give me a shout!

Additional exciting news, I'm away this weekend at a workshop for training to talk to the press about Mental Health! I want to use my bad experiences to do some good for people. I'll write a proper post about it and pop it up on Saturday at the normal time. That's right! I'm going away for the weekend but have actually planned ahead and will still write a post! I'm in danger of becoming organised!

Thanks for reading this, I'll let you get back to your day! I hope it's lovely!

Like a Blog, But With Sound and My Face and Stuff

I take loads of pictures and videos, I love it. It also helps me remember the good times! Especially now when my memory isn't back to how it used to be. I also do some pretty awesome stuff; I'm very lucky to live in a beautiful place with lots of special things nearby. In the last six months I've played with Marmosets, traveled to Brazil to learn Science and see Coatis, and generally gone out and about having fun. The problem is that I've always taken more pictures and videos than I have time to edit into usable, viewable formats (hence over thirty gigabytes of pics and vids from Brazil being shown to the world as... like five instagram photos). So as I don't plan on stopping my fun adventures, and in fact have many more planned for the future, I'm going to force myself to spend more time organising them all. This is going to take the form of short vlogs every week! I've already started, because I don't tend to do things in a logical order, so here's what you've missed so far:

I'll try and be interesting and informative, and maybe even entertaining too! So if you like that sort of thing, and wish to see more of my lovely face, head on over to YouTube and have a look! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYZCc63Lqh01tC2hXITMx7A 

Did I Just Make Life? Following in Frankenstein's Footsteps

I don't mean travelling to the Arctic circle in search of revenge, (although lets not rule that out just yet) but rather building something living out of parts I dug up at midnight in a graveyard bought off Amazon. I am of course talking about building a computer, something I've never done before! I spent yesterday evening scratching my head at poorly translated instructions and peering intently at tiny wires. But that's not the point; the point is that in doing so I could relate a lot of what goes on in a computer to what goes on in a living cell, so thought I could shamelessly steal that as an analogy for this blog.

Spoilers; the answer to 'Did I just make life?' is definitely 'no'. But that's ok, because the journey is more important than the final answer sometimes!

Working Things Through; Imposter Syndrome and Fear of Messing Up

I am not confident in myself. Not just when I speak to people, or do anything traditionally nerve-wracking, but in everything I do, and everything I am; or at least, that I'm pretending to be. It feels like the classic 'imposter syndrome' deal, but it is seeping through my whole life. A lot of the time I feel like I just go through the motions, or that I am permanently 'faking it till I make it', even when I'm just being me.

There's this Gareth lurking in my head who is really happy with who I am. I get excited at the prospect of being 'me', of doing things I do like going into the lab, writing out a blog post, doing all the fun little sciencey hobby stuff I've started doing now with all the Instagram and videos and blog things. Being a proper scientist like I've always wanted, with things like talking at conferences, doing the public engagement bits, my Friendly Bacteria internet things...

Is that the real me though? Because if you take the whole me, the Garethome if you will, that's not how it pans out. That stuff really scares me. Like, to the point where I freeze up entirely. Even really easy, small stuff like checking on how my bacteria are growing in the lab. My office is almost opposite the lab, I could be up from my desk, suited up with lab coat and gloves and spraying things down with ethanol within sixty seconds. And yet whole days have gone by where I've had things I can be doing in the lab but I can't bring myself to even leave my chair. Not because I don't know what I'm doing, or anything like that, but that I'm so afraid trying to become this version of myself that I do actually want to become that even the first small steps are really overwhelming. I have officey things to do while I'm there anyway, but quick trips to the lab are delayed minutes, hours, sometimes even a whole day.

With this Friendly Bacteria stuff, too, I hit the same wall. Every time I pipe up on Twitter as being willing to chat with people or interact or do whatever, I almost immediately completely lock up, unable to respond to whoever it may be when they reply to my comments/tweets/emails. When I do, it's typically been non-committal, avoiding actually signing up to do anything concrete... I do want to, but I'm scared that I can't, or that I'll mess it up. Bringing it back round to the imposter syndrome; I'm scared that I'm not a person who actually can do these things, and that putting myself in the position to do them will just reveal to myself and everyone else that that's the case... and knowing what imposter syndrome, and all that stuff means and is, doesn't help much when you're in that situation.

That's the deal, that's where I am right now. But, writing this down has helped sort things out. I've said a few times how I do actually want to be doing what I do, from my PhD to the scicomm-y Friendly Bacteria stuff. I do know what it's like for my head to not quite agree with itself, too, for various reasons that aren't for today, and I know how I can diminish it to manageable levels, even unnoticeable levels. Friendly Bacteria has been irregular lately, which is making it harder to keep up with; that's something I can easily change, and that will help things. And I need to remember, or remind myself when I need to, that the lab is my happy place. I put on my lab coat, and I change. It's like a mask, or an acting part, but I'm acting like myself. Like the me that gets excited rather than hiding away. Like the me that I want to be.

And wherever I am, I need to remember that that lab, that feeling, is just across the corridor.

#OneMinuteMicrobiology

I’m apparently not satisfied with having a Blog, Twitter and YouTube, so got Instagram too, after this twitter conversation:

I was just throwing the idea of 1 minute videos out there, not even knowing that 1 minute is the Instagram video length limit, but it’s actually been really fun doing them! I’ve done a few so far (I’ll embed them at the bottom of this in case you have like four minutes to spare) and I’m having fun with it. It’s a big challenge, and I think once I run out of all the short basic things to cover it’ll get even harder (as things normally take days, not minutes!) but I love a challenge, and this one is pretty fun! And hopefully worthwhile if it gets more people thinking about microbiology stuff.

So far I haven’t really settled on a specific style, or level at which I’m pitching things, but I’m hoping to make it accessible to everyone no matter their background. Microbiology affects everyone, so everyone should know about it! It’s also really interesting and exciting but isn’t really thought of like that.

Also of course there’s my long-term selfish goal of gaining confidence by doing these videos and things. I’m already feeling some benefits but I’ve got a hugely long way to go!

Anyway, here are the videos I've made so far (with bonus new one I made today!):

And the new one...

I hope you like it! Subscribe to the YouTube for more, or follow my Instagram.

Fiftieth Post! 10 things I've learnt over that time

This is my fiftieth blog post! What?! It's gone so fast! It's also pretty dead-on six months (give or take a day or three) since I started. It's flown by! I thought I'd mark it by doing a post of ten things I've learnt over the last fifty posts/six months. (I've only actually thought of nine right now but I'm hoping one will come to me as I write the rest!)
So here we go:

#MeetThePhD

Time for something new! Time for a monthly blog post series, with little mini-interviews of PhD students around the world! Time for…

#MeetThePhD

The idea behind this is to showcase PhD students, give a bit of an idea of what’s going on out there in PhDland, and show to the world what PhD life is like! Perhaps they are thinking of doing a PhD themselves, or just generally want to know more about it. Or they’re already doing a PhD and want to see that they’re not alone in their struggles or successes!

While Friendly Bacteria is a vaguely microbiology-themed blog, for this series of mini-interviews I’m wanting any PhD student no matter the field! I think it will be a fun way to connect with other PhD students we wouldn’t normally be able to get to know, too.

If you’re a PhD student and want to get involved with this, leave a comment here, send me a DM on Twitter ( @friendlybugblog ) or shine the Bacteria-signal into the skies above Aberystwyth and I’ll send you the questions!

 I'll go first:

Time for a training montage...

I'm really enjoying this whole science communication stuff. It's great fun! Writing this blog is pretty entertaining and keeps me getting involved in developments in the field of microbiology, and now I've got a taste for sci-comm I want to get more involved. There is one problem with that though... me.

Science for the people! (Alternative title: low blood sugar makes for incoherent blogging)

Science affects you. Yes, you. You're reading this on some kind of electrical device; science. You're probably wearing clothes made of a synthetic material; science. You didn't bring an umbrella today because the forecast said sunshine; science. Room's lit by a lightbulb? Science. Got wheels on your chair? Science.

... You probably get the point. That understanding is science too!

MHAW2016: Sharing my Experience

Next week is Mental Health Awareness Week. Mental health is something that affects a huge number of us, including myself; I suffer from anxiety and depression, and over the last few years have really struggled with it. Now that I'm beginning to recover, however, I'm keen to help others going through the same sort of thing.

Next week, to help raise awareness and understanding of mental health, I will be posting a blog post every day of the week. The theme is 'relationships', so I'll be looking at different types of relationships and how they all affected me throughout the worst patches of my illness.

Then, I'll share a bit more about my general experience with it all, and answer any questions people might have! 

If you have anything to ask send me a message here or on Twitter (@friendlybugblog)! I'll keep everyone anonymous so ask absolutely anything!

Word Vomit

I’ve been trying to think up a topic to write this blog post on all day (in breaks from working on some actual work) but I still haven’t thought of anything! It’s a little frustrating to be honest. So I’m just going to type whatever pops into my head in the next fifteen minutes while I drink my coffee, and that can be today’s blog post.

Part of the reason I can’t decide what to talk about is that there’s so much to talk about! Bacteria are so diverse and so widely used that it’s really hard to narrow things down and pick a tiny subset to talk about. Just this morning I’ve read about probiotics, antimicrobials, cheese and the human microbiome, not to mention the assorted endophyte papers I’ve been going over! This is one big reason why I’m doing this blog; not only are friendly bacteria everywhere, but science as a whole is everywhere too! You can look at literally anything and there’s science associated with it. Obviously I’m looking at a computer right now, there’s a lot of science there. But there’s science everywhere else too; my coffee is from selectively bred coffee plants, picked for their flavour and then propagated throughout the farms to bring a consistent product. There are genes involved in that process; how amazing is it that changes in the structure of a single molecule of DNA in a plant on the other side of the world can change the flavour in my mug here in Wales? This brings me back to another big reason why I can’t focus today; sleep. It’s been really hot here over the last few days, which really affects my sleeping. It’s weird that a few degrees in temperature can have me wandering round the house at five in the morning, and shuffling brainlessly like a zombie for the rest of the day. Caffeine to the rescue!

Smell is another cool thing to think about. I love the smell of my coffee! Anyone who reads spy/murder books (or watches TV shows I guess) will know that cyanide smells like bitter almonds. Yum! But the chemicals causing the smells are completely different in shape and composition; the olfactory receptors use quantum to detect smells, which is pretty awesome! I don’t know much about quantum biology (although I’ve got a book on it waiting in my to-read pile) so I won’t go into any more detail on that in case I make a fool of myself.

I live in fear of making a fool of myself; I find it really hard to talk about my project, especially to professional academics, because I’m super scared of saying the wrong thing and sounding like I don’t know what I’m talking about, in case they think I shouldn’t be doing a PhD and I somehow get found out and thrown out of here. This is a real thing called imposter syndrome, but knowing that doesn’t help solve the problem much. Speaking to people has always been really hard for me! That’s a big part of why I’m doing this blog, and the vlogs, and will be making little science videos too (hopefully will have one ready this week even!); I need to practice talking, even if it’s just to a camera, because if I don’t then this will hold me back for the rest of my life!

The fifteen-minute alarm’s gone so I’ll wrap up here. A bit of a jumbly word-vomit type post but I don’t mind that too much!

Vlogging; Scientists Are People Too

Weekly Vlog #2! I thought I'd combine this week's vlog with today's blog post to just say why I'm doing it and things like that.

So why am I doing a vlog? I'm ridiculously, painfully shy when talking to anyone. The thought of being the centre of anyone's attention fills me with dread! So why talk about my everyday life and put it out there for the world to see?

Firstly, precisely because it's really scary to me. I both want and need to be better at communicating, not only for things like conferences or my Viva but for general life too. I can barely bring myself to answer the phone, and things like social events or whatever cause me to retreat behind my walls and clam up like... well, a clam. This isn't good, and really holds me back socially which has knock-on affects throughout my life.

Secondly, I want to show that scientists (I know I'm just a PhD student but I'm calling myself one anyway) are people too! Everyone thinks of them as these scary figures in labcoats and rubber gloves but really it's just another job; scientists have fun, go to the pub, go on days out, just like any other person. I want to try and get that message across, and make science seem more accessible and enjoyable; really, anyone can participate in science in one way or another, and everyone can enjoy it!

So that's why I'm doing it. Feel free to tell me how I'm doing, good or bad!

So who am I then?

I've been doing this blog for a little while now, but haven't really gone into much detail about myself. So who am I? Why do I like friendly bacteria so much? And why am I doing this blog at all?

I'm a twenty three year old PhD student with a microbiology background, in the first year of my PhD. I'm working with a type of friendly bacteria called endophytes, which live in plants and can help them grow and resist disease in exchange for a safe, stable place to live. It's fascinating! It's a bit like the bacteria in your intestines, they don't hurt the plant at all and can even provide good things like hormones and nutrients! I've got a long way to go before I finish but I'm loving it so far so I'm sure it'll fly by.

So why do I like friendly bacteria? Since a young age I've been amazed by the power bacteria have. These tiny creatures so small you can't see them can have huge effects on people, and even the whole world. Just look at the old plagues! The black death killed a huge proportion of the population of the world, but the bacteria behind it (Yersinia pestis) is still much smaller than even one cell of a human. Obviously more than one cell of it was involved, but just as a billion harmless droplets of water can cause flooding and devastation, the huge number of bacteria cause illness and death on a huge scale.
This power the bacteria hold captured my imagination. What if we could use that potential for the benefit of mankind? To continue the water analogy, hydroelectric dams use the power of the water for good, and I wanted to do the same with bacteria. This was before probiotics were popular, and I didn't really know about common uses of microbes like brewing or antibiotic production, but I kept that interest alive as I went on in life, and ended up studying microbiology at degree level. I've done some work in an industrial lab looking at bio ethanol production for fuel, and now I'm here working on my plants!
I realise "using microorganisms to improve higher organisms" sounds very Resident Evil (and I must admit that did help keep my interest in it going) but it's very safe and there's no danger of zombies! Although if it did happen nobody would be worried because I'm in the middle of nowhere and there'd be nobody to bite!

That's who I am, and why I'm doing what I do, but why did I start this blog? I'm really keen to get more science widely known, especially about the 'good bugs' in the world. I feel like a lot of people aren't really told much about bacteria, and microbes in general, so tend to throw up barriers whenever they come up rather than finding out about them. All science affects everybody, so I think having an understanding of how things work would benefit absolutely everyone no matter what they do or where they live worldwide. I already tell my family and friends about awesome, interesting things I find out but I want to spread that around and tell the world!
Whether you're a scientist yourself, or a child in school, or work in retail, an office, in construction, wherever, I want to make awesome scientific developments available, accessible and understandable to everybody!

Routine but not Mundane

I've not posted a blog post for days! I've been away for the Easter weekend but that's not much of an excuse; I had plenty of time waiting around in the airport or wherever that I could have used to make a post or two. So it's time I set out a solid structure to when I post things, not only to make things a bit more formal and professional but also to stop me procrastinating and leaving everything until tomorrow, then the next day, then the next...

I'm also going to be making more use of my YouTube account! I'll be doing a weekly vlog made of short clips from each day. Hopefully it will help me gain confidence in speaking, something I'm really bad for. Plus in a few years, having a nice record of everything I get up to will be nice for me!
I also want to do a monthly (Or twice monthly) short video, more scientific or instructional/educational, starting by talking about my favourite subject; Friendly Bacteria!

Here's the routine then:

Wednesday - Blog post published at 12pm BST

Saturday - Blog post published at 12pm BST

Sunday - The week's vlog, posted by 6pm BST

This isn't too packed in the week, but is still pretty regular and will hopefully be easy to stick to.
I'm going to schedule this for a 12pm upload tomorrow then! (As it's Tuesday today)

Have a lovely week!